tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29419713279002904072024-02-07T18:21:16.608-06:00Sista Siesta: Blogs On Blackness, Beauty, and Being MeMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-6391814127433717112009-10-26T07:06:00.002-05:002009-10-26T07:08:56.839-05:00Workout��Abs<br><br>1.100 Side Bends.<br>2. Two hundred sit-ups.<br>3. 100 Bicycle Crunches. <br><br>Arms<br><br>1. 50 Curls with ten pound weights.<br>2. 25 Butterflys with five pound weights.<br>3. 25 Butterfly (side) with five pound weights.<br>4. 25 Floor Butterfly's with five pound weights.<br>5. 25 repetitions of the expansion series.<br>6. 25 Butterfly Press with five pound weights.<br>7. 25 Butterfly Presses with ten pound weights.<br><br><br>Glutes/Hips/Thighs<br><br>1. 200-500 squats.<br>2. 50 lunges.<br>3. 50 static lunges.<br>4. 50 Leg presses (while on knees).<br>5. 50 H Raises.<br>6. 30 Touchdowns.<br>7. 50 step-ups.<br>8. 5 minutes on elliptical if possible.<br><br><br>Ballet<br><br>1. 50 Pl�es.<br>2. 50 Tendu's.<br>3. 25 Battements.<br>4. 25 Ronde De Jambe.<br>5. 30 Coup�.<br>6. 30 Deg�ge.<br>7. 30 Fondu�.<br>8. Repeat steps 2-7 while lying down.<br>9. 60 Lying pl�e with ab circles.<br>10. 25 Cambr�.<br>11. 10 Ar�besque 45 degrees to each side.<br><br><br>Yoga<br><br>1. 2 repetitions of the Vinyasa series.<br><br><br>Pilates<br><br>1. 30 Roll-ups.<br>2. 15 Open leg rocker.<br>3. 15 Closed led rocker.<br>4. 30 Swimming strokes.<br>5. 40 Scissors.<br>6. 40 Criss-cross.<br>7. 2 sets of the Side series.<br><br><br>Belly Dance<br><br>1. 30 Turkish Belly Rolls.<br>2. 30 Reverse Turkish Belly Rolls.<br>3. 30 vertical figure eights.<br>4. 30 figure eights.<br>5. Snake Arms.<br>6. 60 Hip Drop with Eygyptian Walk.<br>7. 40 Hip Snaps.<br>8. 30 Rib Slides.<br> <br> <br><br><br><br>MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-1626139754610492592009-10-22T11:35:00.002-05:002009-10-26T21:39:30.301-05:00Real��Don't you ask someone how real they are<br>You have no right to judge<br>Trying to make them feel small?<br>Even though they won't budge<br>They'll just prove it<br>Harder<br>Do they all have to cut '4 Real' <br>Into their arms?<br>For you to understand we're not faking?<br>Do we have to jump from buildings, drink gasoline and hang ourselves on the door with our ties?<br>For you to finally see we have feelings too?<br>This is a race of action after words<br>And they'll show you action<br>Whether you like it or not<br>So next time she's crying her eyes out<br>You'd better not tell her to stopMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-31326014065668137542009-10-21T01:49:00.002-05:002009-10-21T02:10:05.899-05:00A little bit of conceited posting��It's hard to believe it's October. So many things happening. November is going to be quite eventful. So I'm looking to forward to that as well. Latin is lovely. My left frontal lobe must be highly developed because I have an effortless capacity for language. <br>Psychology is fun and Literature of course. Math is non-sensical.<br><br>Some things happening. <br><br>I am 2-4-0 in fantasy football. Pretty good for a first timer. Still have a ton of weeks to go.<br><br>Ufc 104 which I will be blogging about soon.<br><br>New Moon, Kris Allen, and Adam Lambert all released in November. Very excited.<br><br>I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm looking to blog more in the way of an essay or thesis as it will help with school.<br><br>Being a die hard fan of the entire Law and Order series and the Twilight Zone. I process the plots and messages of every episode with studied purpose. Many extremely pertinent points have been revealed to me from a psychological standpoint and I truly owe this the many writers of Law and Order, and to my screen-writing inspiration Rod Serling. If I ever have to write a thesis, I know exactly what it will be on. Who said Primetime TV wasn't educational.<br><br>I've made many revelations about my life as well. I don't have forever to find a mate, get a perfect body, and a great career. I have to start now. Or else I'll end up a snooty spinster. <br><br>And my newest passion, cooking! Mainly desserts. I can't wait to get better and better as it can only help me in the long run.<br><br>From drinking more water to five hundred squats a day I've definitely changed in the past months yet don't fret. I'm still the biggest Johnny Depp loving, Hugh Jackman drooling, Rob Pattinson praising, MMA addicted bitch in Wisconsin, and proud of it. <br><br><br>Muah!MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-23749510923643346812009-09-24T23:00:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:31:27.662-05:00Done Is Done��I should get the flattest belly I can<br />Dance like Shakira finally<br />Eat one meal a day<br />Marry a Fishbourne type<br />Do some amorphous work<br />Dad can make his face<br />Mom can smile<br />Everyone is everyone<br />Yet it won't remove<br />So still I stay.<br />I'm not going...<br />AnywhereMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-28378756404143982272009-09-24T22:59:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:30:15.860-05:00It's for....��Life is a waste of time<br />We want to live so we can say that<br />Why smile<br />Who gives a fuck<br />Maybe guilt it is and guilt it should be<br />Smiling won't help<br />Neither will these fake laughs<br />I'm sorry<br />ForeverMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-37551748696307964432009-09-24T22:58:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:29:20.181-05:00Them��Treat us like disposable gloves<br />Out to pasture<br />Wipe up the shit<br />Of cows who don't care<br />We are one in suffering<br />No one helps<br />It's all an act they say<br />As she drowns<br />They shake their heads<br />Too lazy to helpMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-59745232542232868062009-09-24T22:57:00.002-05:002009-09-24T23:28:27.060-05:00Worth��Failure<br />Success<br />Complete opposites<br />Hell<br />Death<br />Return the circle<br />It can't be that bad<br />With an own<br />Besides myself<br />Dance alone and not very well<br />Writing rubbish<br />Saying more<br />What defines worth itMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-50197129222491307342009-09-24T22:57:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:27:35.436-05:00I Told You��Toxic<br />Rebel so you won't say I told you so<br />Looking at me with knowing eyes<br /><br />"How was it?"<br /><br />"Did you enjoy it?"<br /><br />I knew it would be you<br />After all your big talk<br />You did after all<br /><br />I couldn't stand that.<br />I'll wait until your gone<br />Those knowing smiles<br />Kill meMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-70667979040125677412009-09-24T22:56:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:26:21.394-05:00Feel��Many languages I want to learn<br />So many have no melody<br />French rolls off the tounge so romantic<br />Spanish so rich and regal<br />Swahili so fruity and full of heart<br />Yet what is language to the soul that cannot see?<br />What is language to the eye which cannot read?<br /><br />Languge of the skeleton.<br /><br />What can I feel?MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-89262493035648556662009-09-24T22:55:00.001-05:002009-09-24T23:25:23.803-05:00Poem to the hangman��Bitter world<br />We all die<br />So I'll say it anyway<br /><br />Pornographic secrets<br />We all die<br />So I'll watch it anyway<br /><br />Propaganda from all sides (pick your poison)<br />I'm a proud red at heart<br />We all die<br />So I believe it anyway<br /><br />Who gives a bourgeoise (or broke) fuck?<br />Does it matter?<br />'Cause we all die anyway<br /><br />I'll do my shit while I'm here<br />Torture myself as an experiment<br />I can't even laugh anymore<br /><br />Does it matter?<br />We're gonna die anyway.MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-89594131009130071312009-09-06T23:47:00.001-05:002009-09-07T09:31:27.262-05:00Bookends��Bookends hold together ideas<br />Sandwiched between lies<br />Fishing out creativity<br />Cliche ridden<br />Guilt providing<br />Repetitive<br />Only a few stand out from the solitude<br />And those<br />I choose<br />To put between the special<br />Bookends of my brainMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-44340248051067462232009-08-27T10:22:00.001-05:002009-08-27T10:26:45.941-05:00.......For Sale!��Hypocrisy can't look in the mirror.<br />Hypocrisy feels tears behind those narrowed eyes<br />She's constantly pissed<br />Blame and excuses make her day.<br />Hypocrisy knows<br />Yet will not change<br />She ends up hating without reason<br />A tyrant with remorse only for her own butterflies<br />Ask me, 'How do you know this'<br /><br />I wish you could see my covered mirrorsMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-67362929668480414202009-08-26T08:33:00.001-05:002009-08-26T08:36:21.177-05:00Bondage��China cup chocolat<br />Red butterscotch for me<br />Speckled with purple<br />Silk sins under the skin<br />Rippling, shuddering restraint<br />Arrested by dreams<br />Welts rising, golden red<br />Tender to the touch<br />Edgy<br />Yet you know<br />It will end<br />So you enjoy it<br />Broken skin<br /><br /><br />A tweep of mine inspired me to write this. Not my best yet I think I captured the emotion as best I could for someone who isn't into that kinda thing. LolMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-4081620531558960552009-08-25T13:11:00.000-05:002009-08-25T13:14:30.986-05:00Weekly Book Review��The Lie by O.H Bennet.<br /><br />A moving contemporary tale of race relations and family. The books whole potential was depleted by the spotty grammar and sometimes downright atrocious sentence structure. The affect was also decreased by the distaste one felt for the main and supporting characters. Even though Bennet depicted a realist situation his characters acted in continuously unrealistic w*ys. His characters did not stay within their fictionally designated psychological realm. One minute a vicious hustler was beating his girlfriend, the next minute speaking in an intelligent manner about the role of life and memories. It would have been funny if it hadn't been such a pain to read. Though I give him props for trying, I wouldn't reccomend this book to read.<br /><br /><br />The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold<br /><br />Alive Sebold captured my heart after I read her first novel, The Lovely Bones, two years ago. It was the first contemporary book I'd I ever cried reading. In 'The Almost Moon', she shows again her natural talent for storytelling and depicting emotion. It tells the story of an artist model who kills her ailing demented mother on impulse. At first you think 'what a sicko!' Yet after you read and learn the worst Helen Knightly has to offer you begin to understand the strange psychologial ties this woman has, and the history of mental illness and self-violence that permeated her family. As you read you come to sympathize with almost everyone in the book, not by charity yet by simple human care. Sebold also portrays the brutality of a neighborhood which refuses to understand the implications of mental illness. This is in my opinion a wonderful book by a consistent and fresh writer. Her own personal tragedy and violation give her a view point that not many authors in the contemporary world of literature have. If you don't read this you at least must read 'The Lovely Bones'. It's one of the most amazing novels I've ever read.MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-8075170219990583612009-08-19T23:39:00.001-05:002009-08-19T23:48:13.915-05:00Stripped��An ample vocabulary<br />Is useless<br />My thesaurus melts<br />Search engines<br />Gears spontaneously begin to rust<br />Every foreign dialect<br />That's passed<br />Through my<br />Brain.<br />Every sound of<br />Every human<br />Every painting<br />By every maestro<br />A composistion by Debussy<br />Or Mendholsson<br />Brought to life by an infant virtuouso<br />Lagerfield's genius in<br />Silk and organdy<br />And centuries of races.<br />Empires won.<br />Just to find a minute something<br />To describe the tiny speck of galaxy<br />In your iris,<br />Would take<br />The end of time<br />Itself<br /><br /><br />I wrote this poem ironically while sitting three seats from the guy I liked at DE class, yet I wasn't writing about him. It's more about love (a theme I write effortlessly on yet hopelessly can't achieve in real life). The man I saw while writing this was of course I don't have to say his name now do I? Lol. Yet it's also about how I would feel about whatever man I chose to love and love me.MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-29895799755740352842009-08-15T21:32:00.001-05:002009-08-15T21:35:00.801-05:00Love Infinitesmal�� Eyes<br /> Rimmed in natural nutmeg<br /> Black depths of sweet<br /> Innocent yet not<br /> Beauty as brutal as slitting my own throat<br /> Tounge<br /> Body<br /> Gentle as no one but a man can be<br /> Virginal in body I<br /> Yet in my mind you've raped me<br /> over and over<br /> Just as I begged you to<br /><br /><br /> Pure happiness of heart<br /> Impaled by many dreams<br /> Wet and Dry<br /> Geometrically<br /> And scientifically in every facet<br /> Of every way<br /> How I will love<br /> And how you must love meMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-20529555724500673122009-02-07T00:10:00.001-06:002011-04-07T00:10:53.630-05:00dumbcityblah blahMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-73570337802638796252008-04-07T00:13:00.003-05:002011-04-07T00:15:20.571-05:00Race Relations: Essay by Earl HutchinsonMexican Officials Must Come Clean on Racism<br />
Commentary<br />
By Earl Ofari Hutchinson<br />
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The Mexican government's sale of the racially offensive cartoon character Memin Pinguin as a commemorative stamp is an outrageous sign that top Mexican officials still refuse to deal with the country's racism. But it's just that a sign. Racism goes much deeper in the country. Even while Mexican writers and politicians rail in articles against American racism, many Mexicans are quick to boast of differences in skin color among their own family members.<br />
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A few years ago, a Mexican-American friend made me acutely aware of the rigid race differences in the country. When I told him that I'd be traveling extensively in Mexico, he urged me to pay close attention to the workers doing the hardest and dirtiest work in restaurants and hotels, and who the beggars and peddlers on the streets were. They were overwhelmingly dark, and in most cases with pronounced Indian or African features.<br />
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Many Mexicans refer to dark skinned persons, both Mexican, and non-Mexican, as negritos or little Black people. This is not seen as racially offensive, but rather as a term of affection even endearment. A popular afternoon telenovela has a comedian in Blackface chasing madly after light complexioned actresses in skimpy outfits. Ads have featured Blacks in Afros, Black face, and distorted features. The most popular screen stars in film and on TV, and the models featured on magazines and billboards, are white or fair skinned with sandy or blond hair. That's the standard of beauty, culture, and sophistication that's held up as the penultimate standard to emulate, and that standard is unabashedly commercialized, and peddled as top commodities in Mexico and other Latin American countries. Mexican President Vicente Fox and most of Mexico's past presidents, top officials, business leaders, educators, and government leaders, for instance, are light skinned or Castellan Spanish. They routinely boast that they can trace their bloodlines to Spain (Fox's mother is from Spain).<br />
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During one of my stays in Mexico, I lived with a well- to-do Mexican family. Family members routinely asked if my son was into gangs and drugs (He was a university senior at the time). I chalked their insensitivity in part up to the one-dimensional depiction of Blacks in the global media world, and in part to negative racial attitudes in the country. And Blacks in Mexico suffer from those attitudes. They make up about two percent of the population, and that's only a rough estimate. The Mexican government propagates the myth of a color-blind society and has never designated any racial categories. There is no formal ban in Mexico on employment discrimination. Classified ads in magazine and newspapers are filled with requests for job applicants who are young and beautiful, and though its unstated, the lighter and more fair skinned the better.<br />
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In recent years, the guerrilla war in Chiapas, and land battles between Indian groups and government officials in other parts of the country have drawn national and international attention. This has forced the government to make minimal reforms to deal with the economic and racial ill treatment of the Indians. But the government has not shown the same level of sensitivity and enlightenment toward its Black population. They remain invisible, and the lowest of the low on the country's social and economic totem pole. They are crammed into enclaves in the states of Guerrero, Oaxaca, and Veracruz, where the schools are underserved, the roads and public services are poor, and they are subject to harassment by police.<br />
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Then there's Pinguin. An entire generation of Mexican school children (and many adults) has grown up delighting in the zany frolics of the popular comic hero. Pinguin has grossly distorted monkey like features, a baldhead and big ears. His mother is a grotesquely fat, bandanna-wearing mammy. The Black mammy domestic was the stock racist image of Black women in countless 1930s and 1940s American movies. But Pinguin's mother isn't a domestic. She routinely wears her bandanna around their house, and it's a ramshackle house in a poor barrio. The Pinguin series ran in Mexican newspapers and magazines during the 1960s and 1970s. It was created by Sixto Valencia Burgos, one of Mexico's top creative artists. In 1998, Burgos became president of the Mexican National Association of Comic Artists.<br />
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The Pinguin series is so popular that decades after Burgos discontinued the series, fan clubs still sprout up on both sides of the border. The comic books are still wildly popular collector's items in Mexico, and other parts of Latin America, and continue to be much discussed and much read. Gilberto Rincon, President of the National Council to Prevent Discrimination, noted that a report on racism in Mexico was released prior to Fox's racially loaded quip in May about Blacks and immigrant jobs. That was a small sign that top Mexican officials grudgingly realize that race does matter in Mexican affairs. Now Mexican officials can take another small step and dump the Pinguin stamp. Then they can take the bigger step and fully come clean on the country's racism and do something about it. <br />
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Earl Ofari Hutchinson has a weekly online news and information service, The Hutchinson Report, www.thehutchinsonreport.com. A nationally syndicated columnist, he is president of the National Alliance For Positive Action and author of The Disappearance of Black Leadership. <br />
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IMDiversity.com is committed to presenting diverse points of view. However, theMariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2941971327900290407.post-15981819610175036292008-03-09T18:07:00.011-05:002011-04-07T00:58:52.133-05:00Pretending: The Selective Embrace of a CultureWhat am I ? <br />
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A strong African-American woman.<br />
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A mother.<br />
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A wife.<br />
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Not a pretender. <br />
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As I prepare for a birthday celebration, I think of the family that is preparing to come together. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews gathered in the home of my aunt Tanya, to laugh and share memories. If only the good ones. I'm an outcast in my family. Some would call me a traitor. A disparager of my history. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love myself, and my family; yet I refuse to involve myself in generations of conformism. Everyone knows a person in their family who speaks a little too loudly; yet their speech is the truth. I am that person. From sitting on the porch eating watermelon, to listening to loud rap in a cadillac, my family is plagued by self-imposed stereotypes and a habit of pretending to be who and what they are not.<br />
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Now before I go further, you may ask; why bare this all in blog devoid of earth-shattering revelation. I answer; for my daughter; that she may understand where I am coming from. The daughter that is so hard to reach, so hard to understand. I must start somewhere. and that somewhere is here. (I must admit the semi-anonymity is kind of catharic). <br />
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But back to me. <br />
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I was born in Wisconsin. My mother, Bethenia, a world-trekking Nigerian-american in love with her new country. A woman that began with much potential, and who now exist in a vacuum of self-pity. But before you judge me too harshly, please read on. <br />
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While on a UWM college trip to Guerrero, Mexico she met a afro-mexican man named Alfredo.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJteRBXRKxoaofkdC0IlZ6zpjmJfMSDA6Jy2LMhMVNHHDEqjTtGZkNK0-T385codHqFBdt5YutVkFEd0oucir2TWeK2FqUhnqkduGM1QKufIHw-VxZsD4AizkRjM21JJHaUeTHukPDacdR/s1600/anenecuilcayotl_p177-769752.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJteRBXRKxoaofkdC0IlZ6zpjmJfMSDA6Jy2LMhMVNHHDEqjTtGZkNK0-T385codHqFBdt5YutVkFEd0oucir2TWeK2FqUhnqkduGM1QKufIHw-VxZsD4AizkRjM21JJHaUeTHukPDacdR/s400/anenecuilcayotl_p177-769752.jpg" /></a></div>"Alfredo Diallo and my mother Bethenia in 1949 or 1950, posing near what I believe to be the ruins of Guerrero Viejo (My mother would have never stooped to live in such squalor and trust me the scythe in his hand is just for show)"<br />
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If this were a movie I'd be preparing myself for a long happy ending but there is none. He, from all accounts and purposes, embraced the stereotypes of his people; never holding a steady job, drinking heavily, and never reaching higher than low level farm work to make his living. As you can tell from this dated and only photo I have of them together, making a good impression was not high on his list of prioritites. My mother sought to travel the landscape. Surevey the surroundings and histories of that land. And from what I know, all she got for her trouble were pock marks froom various insect bites that never healed. My mother on the other hand used her time there wisely, nursing for the red cross and other factions. While I don't seek to blame my father for the mistakes I made, he does, rest his soul, have much responsibilty. My mother was a weak woman, and he took advantage of her kindness for personal gain. I know little about him. Heard little and saw even less. He seemed to have no use for me. Maybe the few times I did meet him my hostility at his nonchalant treatment of my mother showed through, and he became wary of me. I only have one picture of him, with my mother. (Not suprising seeing he found my mother to be more and more repulsive as tme went by). Yet not just out of personal preference but frugality. They were poor but their poverty was not inevitable. My mother was highly intelligent and could have went farther in the world than a village in mexico. Yet that is another story in itself. Yes he stayed with her until his death. What we call nowadays playing house. Sometimes my mother, harboring him in her humble milwaukee home. Sometimes she, living with him in the rural scene of Chilipancigo de los bravos. But never once visiting Nigeria. A fact I found dismissive of her African heritage. No mention of the beauty of THAT foreign land. My mother chose her path, and I unfortuantely made mistakes on mine. <br />
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A little bit more history then on to the meat of my essay. <br />
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My mother and father were kind enough to take in my daughter, Fada, when she was but four years old. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbkw-RzrlOAdpc31HrJEFjj6gDBgILvX_z1kcCXZvEfjEAj6Nnh8ISLZN_W62G5i7XsNYaCVyunq0-aKnTngT2xL2cRV0r6ULYtxm3iebekNWaHN3M5R4dBAkZN4RudGUZgLAME2CCnTZA/s1600/article-page-main_ehow_images_a04_bu_t0_care-black-childrens-hair-800x800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="196" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbkw-RzrlOAdpc31HrJEFjj6gDBgILvX_z1kcCXZvEfjEAj6Nnh8ISLZN_W62G5i7XsNYaCVyunq0-aKnTngT2xL2cRV0r6ULYtxm3iebekNWaHN3M5R4dBAkZN4RudGUZgLAME2CCnTZA/s200/article-page-main_ehow_images_a04_bu_t0_care-black-childrens-hair-800x800.jpg" /></a></div>"My Fada-bu in 1997. (She'll kill me for calling her that but I don't mind. shoot she'll probably kill me for writing this essay!"<br />
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I sometimes felt my daughter had a great affinity for her grandparents, and like any good parent, sought to encourage that. Even when they took her to live with them, I did not object. Of course I had my own issues and it was convenient to have someone caring for my daughter yet I had by no means lapsed in my responsibilty for her. While I worked out my issues they cared for her the best they could. I trusted them with my daughter, and she returned safely after her grandfathers death. Yet I believe that time changed her. Yes she was only four. But that is such an impressionable age and I fear the impression left upon her was one that harbors disdain for some core parts of her history. All because of the prevalence of stereotypes and images that I believe have permeated her mind. <br />
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And now we come to the core of my argument. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAIVWAX-EP9PTpE4ubkLxvgzkwbB7c1SJMd2boMcz_stnNoJUAVH9t58aHavJFaeHPXjmrEdpipfGrqOOb5Y9SwTZKLhRZZyd64_HHurc8uGBydjF4VFxomM1xHmhLLnnneHOOSCTyZxn/s1600/imagesCAEATHMY.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAIVWAX-EP9PTpE4ubkLxvgzkwbB7c1SJMd2boMcz_stnNoJUAVH9t58aHavJFaeHPXjmrEdpipfGrqOOb5Y9SwTZKLhRZZyd64_HHurc8uGBydjF4VFxomM1xHmhLLnnneHOOSCTyZxn/s320/imagesCAEATHMY.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592317621169566930" /></a> "Racist.. No?"<br />
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A watermelon eating negro. No one wants to be indentified with that. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8mO5XJU4cSs03dO2uz0niWWczB9ver6vCgpR6umqm6KAykM6AJwT2zGZN3CtoK-VahUVVWm1K9-ZmF1KW69KNQ7MlDfFNexg_r7iKAeTou9TXoXytYpfpLrl6zwpry6R_I3Yn19RzErlE/s1600/imagesCAQC8AOD.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 201px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8mO5XJU4cSs03dO2uz0niWWczB9ver6vCgpR6umqm6KAykM6AJwT2zGZN3CtoK-VahUVVWm1K9-ZmF1KW69KNQ7MlDfFNexg_r7iKAeTou9TXoXytYpfpLrl6zwpry6R_I3Yn19RzErlE/s320/imagesCAQC8AOD.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592318603026722306" /></a> "Classic Stereotype"<br />
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And eating chicken? Now that's out of the question. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtfRLgfNs9IdGUpum29bbJpECOJTnuT-ePfwGkXPpEj4fQ0Zy6nvDJQAzNRoEHhF3jrauRh3pVwl2SvvKTrXpBBU855Fl8sFNbBtvR0KXjf9aPmSnPIK_Rdtiej529NxgW9KPLsF4kAIBT/s1600/zuma+rock.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 275px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtfRLgfNs9IdGUpum29bbJpECOJTnuT-ePfwGkXPpEj4fQ0Zy6nvDJQAzNRoEHhF3jrauRh3pVwl2SvvKTrXpBBU855Fl8sFNbBtvR0KXjf9aPmSnPIK_Rdtiej529NxgW9KPLsF4kAIBT/s320/zuma+rock.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592321474671127202" /></a> "The Zuma Rock in Nigeria"<br />
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But speak of the beauty of the Nigerian sunset, the forestry and the earthiness of the people and there is no equally strong response. Yet the older my daughter gets it becomes apparent she has chosen one part of her culture over the others. My daughter is a beautiful and strong girl. Yet being a woman myself I know the danger of identity confusion. I know what I am. My license, birth certificate, and social security card all identify me as an African-american woman. Of course my dna is comprised of both black and latino blood, yet I feel that that dna does not dictate my character. My husband is a strong handsome black man. And I have birthed three beautiful black daughters. To choose to identify with a certain racial group is in my experience pre-ordained. An Elephant can't pretend to be a Flamingo. A Flamigo can't be a Rhinoceros. And Blacks can't be White, Latino or Chinese as much as they may want to change. <br />
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And in this next paragraph,I am speaking to my daughter, Fada, and every teenage girl of African-American descent.(As she always addresses me with that no reservations way which causes so much drama. *smile*) <br />
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The color of your skin will never limit you. Only the color of your heart. To be disparaging of your African history is shameful not only to your family yet to your people. And I know you would never proceed to PURPOSELY your parents or those who raised you. Love for a people does not make you one of them. Four years in a place does not make you a citizen. Anyone can learn to speak a language. The most of a blood type is dominant over the lesser of a blood type. A quarter is not a whole. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQV2Ib-XvZQ-p2EdnRcBBIFuS7Z34Jvx8QuI88WCrLEgdCHPgZy8RN6atKPbujT1YA-ePiqHKZnpc4oMzhbwKBhuMV_kEL8FzlMgPu6CdweBxVJX7-VmFt0-DAg-l7YUh3AdlpVhWf36E1/s1600/imagesCA769IEC.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 248px; height: 108px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQV2Ib-XvZQ-p2EdnRcBBIFuS7Z34Jvx8QuI88WCrLEgdCHPgZy8RN6atKPbujT1YA-ePiqHKZnpc4oMzhbwKBhuMV_kEL8FzlMgPu6CdweBxVJX7-VmFt0-DAg-l7YUh3AdlpVhWf36E1/s400/imagesCA769IEC.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592327034233030226" /></a> "What 25% Looks Like On Paper"<br />
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The other seventy-five percent is a history rich in memories and experience that should not be ignored.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizRAmzKRhU_DvGwifhA2TpGX-vIojEenr0KHWbQZe5x1ONpBvnZWHcf5QsQb2HkwGKnLsL_xskLI3cgWrc4MJ7RA4e6PppBQMmzw0DQeOahmi9iZ_akr0O1zyp0DYWQNHIpmcr5Cz5-zW/s1600/photo4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="255" width="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizRAmzKRhU_DvGwifhA2TpGX-vIojEenr0KHWbQZe5x1ONpBvnZWHcf5QsQb2HkwGKnLsL_xskLI3cgWrc4MJ7RA4e6PppBQMmzw0DQeOahmi9iZ_akr0O1zyp0DYWQNHIpmcr5Cz5-zW/s320/photo4.jpg" /></a></div>"My husbands family, from left to right: his great-grandfather George, his wife Ethel and their daughter Annie (posing in a more dignified setting as you can see)"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBhk8G8TMikutjocf0VFV4FlruCQggVYRstnUGwmmozBo2u61SFdkF_vfiRZxhAkH8sms7ZRUEHBr5HJOLZ2SqzstyUUh4F9WpmBdLLh15aAQTwMe5rEccUFsCE3fSsgoJ0e_QqLlmafXj/s1600/photo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="268" width="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBhk8G8TMikutjocf0VFV4FlruCQggVYRstnUGwmmozBo2u61SFdkF_vfiRZxhAkH8sms7ZRUEHBr5HJOLZ2SqzstyUUh4F9WpmBdLLh15aAQTwMe5rEccUFsCE3fSsgoJ0e_QqLlmafXj/s320/photo2.jpg" /></a></div>"My mother (center) with two friends in 1946"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi54q7OEbnS6OLuBYTouKQ5LMd4wo3xPJEwGDiZp_mXFpEvr077VjYAnJf25q4QwXdC38wpnI_rm14ud_Md0lVpuPZjSQ4c97wyTa11p8jAmm3IebiWmJ61rgDr4c3woop6qXdAQPRBjiKe/s1600/imagesCAIASEXD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="195" width="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi54q7OEbnS6OLuBYTouKQ5LMd4wo3xPJEwGDiZp_mXFpEvr077VjYAnJf25q4QwXdC38wpnI_rm14ud_Md0lVpuPZjSQ4c97wyTa11p8jAmm3IebiWmJ61rgDr4c3woop6qXdAQPRBjiKe/s200/imagesCAIASEXD.jpg" /></a></div>"Me and my niece Toy. A reminder of OUR future."<br />
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Now I know some people will have strong reactions to my words. I have stated this opinion to friends and co-workers and been called bitter and close-minded. This is not true at all. Yes I may be angry at the lack of family history available to me because of the plight of our black ancestors. Yes I may be upset at my mothers choice of a mate which has left an undeniable mark on my daughter and I's sense of being. And I may just be a mother who wants her child and others like her to understand the importance of accepting who you are. It does no good to pretend to belong to a culture that does not want or accept you. My mother pretended to be an all-knowing globe-trekker and look where it got her. My father I know next to nothing about; through no fault of my own. And as for my daughter, I refuse to lose to her own loss of identity. <br />
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I know you young ones don't like to hear preaching so I'll finish now; hoping that something was learned through all of this. That maybe in a bit of relating my history, I can help you have a desire to learn and love yours. <br />
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Remember.<br />
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We are what are most. What we love most. Who takes us in their arms and says: "It will be alright". Not WHO we WANT to say those things.<br />
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What am I? <br />
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A strong African-American woman.<br />
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A mother.<br />
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A wife.<br />
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Not a pretender. <br />
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And my girls,<br />
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That's what you CAN BE TOO!MariaBeingFrankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02324229502007674413noreply@blogger.com1